August 17, 2011
To Whom It May Concern:
In my past life as a former Madam I never realized how much pain I was inflicting on the women who worked for me until I stepped away and gave my life to Christ. At the time of being a Madam I believed that to some degree that I was keeping the women in a safer environment than the streets and not being physically beaten by their pimps. Yet I have hurt them both physically and emotionally and to this end, I am so sorry. What many of you may not know is that while I was a Madam, I was being pimped. I had someone that I had to answer to which pushed me to be harder on the women. I make no excuse for this it was simply just the reality. I too was being exploited as a Madam. As a former exploited woman, I feel the pain and after effects of being exploited and I am so sorry to the core of my being for the pain I have caused to many as a Madam.
The 1st night I spoke on the Ignite the Road to Justice tour I made a public apology to the audience as well as to all of the women whom I have exploited. I don’t know how many of the women who I have hurt in the past were there that night but some women did come up to me and I apologized to them in person; it’s not complete but it is a start. This is a journey that I have been on for some time now. This event has brought it to the forefront and it is my heart’s desire to have full reconciliation.
It has come to my attention, that organizations were expressing disapproval with myself being a spokes person on the Ignite the Road to Justice Tour because of the fact that they have been providing support and after care to women that I have hurt in the past and have been counseling them through the pain that they have experienced as a result of my role in the media regarding this tour. Even if there is a chance that there is one ounce of truth to it and women are being hurt by my speaking, I have chosen to step down because of the fact that its not about me, or even the tour, its about ending human trafficking and the pain that these women suffer. I commend these organizations for their love, support and restoration of these women and once again, I am sorry that my speaking has triggered and brought about such pain.
I was unaware that the phone call had been made the afternoon before I shared my story. It came to my attention after the Vancouver event that there were concerns from previous women whom I’ve exploited that they have issues with me being a spokes person on the tour as it is stirring up old pain. My heart so desperately wants to embrace these women and take away the pain I have caused and not add more pain to them. To the individuals whom my past life being a Madam have affected in a negative way I am coming before you with humility and I am asking for your forgiveness and reconciliation.
It is for these reasons that I feel I should not speak on the tour at this time as there needs to be a reconciliation process and healing for the parties involved, myself included. As of a woman of faith I am seeking godly counsel from scripture that I am applying to my own life.
Mathew 5:23 ‘Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, 24 leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift.
I am truly remorseful of my harmful actions in the past and have now taken a stand for the oppressed as I too am on my journey of healing. I pray for the day when many more madams and pimps will one day take a stand, protect and fight for the very ones whom they have exploited. My hope is that we all find restoration and healing. I believe that with God all things are possible.
From this point on, I will continue to stand for justice, I will continue to be a team member of the Ignite the Road to Justice Tour, I will continue to seek reconciliation in all my relationships and I will continue to speak truth and give glory to God, according to my faith in all settings, whether it be in future media or future speaking engagements. I will be continuing on this tour, with this team, and giving public apologies, asking for forgiveness and seeking reconciliation at all these events. Please accept my humble apologies and I would hope to personally apologize to each and every one of you and the other women that have been hurt by me. Once again, I am so sorry.
Even if Tara Teng, asked me to be a spokesperson for the tour, I would decline until I have proof that no one was hurt. As a daughter of the Lord, I am honored to be serving on this tour as a valued team member and not a speaker.
Sincerely and For God’s glory,